Dating Advice - Why You Should Start Dating Outside Your Comfort Zone

Do you have a dating 'type'? If you consider all the dating partners you've had, is there a common theme? Are you still searching for your ideal partner? If the answer to these questions is 'yes', it's time you started dating outside your comfort zone.

Most people find certain characteristics charming or attractive in potential dating partners. However, if you refuse to date anyone without these characteristics, you could be screening out the very person who could be your perfect match.

This is because love is unpredictable, and while you might think you know what you want, making a break from old habits could be the very thing which leads you to dating success. Here are some top tips for broadening your dating horizons.

Challenge your beliefs

Yes, you know that, say, tall men or blonde women tend to catch your eye. However, having dated only tall men (or blonde women), have you found your perfect match? If you have consistently rejected dating partners because they are not who you would usually see yourself with, take a second look. You might have rejected the very person who could make you truly happy.

Face your fears

Some people who stay within a certain comfort zone when dating because this seems like the easy option - dating similar types of people (for example, only people who share your profession, or just people between the ages of 30 and 33), can start to become second nature, while venturing into new territory becomes increasingly daunting.

If this sounds like you, bear in mind that, as soon as you start to move outside your comfort zone, you will start to become desensitized to the change. Your comfort zone will then begin to expand, giving you more and more options when it comes to dating. The more comfortable you are, the more confident you will become with all different kinds of people.

Put past experiences behind you

While learning from dating is usually a good thing, it is important not to let bad experiences prejudice you against whole genres of potential dating partners. For example, while you may have had a dull date with an accountant, this does not mean that all accountants are dull.

Don't rule people out simply because you see them as a 'type' which hasn't worked for you in the past - everyone's different and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised, just when you least expect it.

Break all the rules

Without even acknowledging it to yourself, you might be being governed by assumptions or influences you're not even aware of. Perhaps your parents suggested it would be good for you to marry a doctor, or your group of friends will only consider a dating partner if they have a university degree.

We are all influenced by the people around us, but you need to examine whether or not these are your choices, or whether you are blindly following the crowd, or some distant memory of what you've been told is the 'right' kind of dating partner for you.

Try to identify, and then break free, from some of the unconscious rules you have set for yourself. You will enjoy a much broader range of opportunities and might just find your match.

match.com is the UK's biggest dating site. With thousands of new members joining everyday you won't have a better chance of finding love online anywhere else.

Dating by Your Values

Someone recently approached me in a state of confusion as the result of 'accidentally' running into her ex. Although he is a very nice guy, they had nothing in common-that's why they broke up, they really didn't share the same values. She was on a search for deeper meaning in life while he really couldn't care less about 'meaning'. Actually, he was happy to turn his head off and live the routine grind he had become accustomed to living. It was clear to both of them that there was no future; the break-up wasn't even all that emotional.

Two years passed since their break-up. She was happily traveling down a path of deep self discovery and spiritual awareness. He was still happy in his routine...breakfast, work, TV, checkbook etc. And then...the magical moment...they bumped into each other (almost literally) and he said, "Great to see you, I'm still in love with you". Since she was feeling a bit lonely at the time, it felt good to hear those words, so she thought, "Well, I guess I'm still in love with him as well". They spent many hours talking that day...and the next day...and the day after that. When she contacted me, she was very confused. Upon hearing the fact that they had spent so much time talking, my first question was, "Wow, he must have embarked on a spiritual path or something like that, in order for you to spend that much time talking." She answered me, "Uhh, actually, no, we didn't speak about spirituality or meaning." Now I was confused and said, "But you recently told me that your spiritual awareness and goals are the most important things in your life, strange that it never came up." She clarified by stating, "He didn't want to talk about spirituality...he said, let's not talk about something that divides us." She admitted feeling very frustrated and unexpressed during their interaction, yet it felt good to see that he was still in love with her. My response was, "If spirituality is the most important part of your life and you can't even talk about it with him, he's not relating to the most important part of you. If so, who exactly is he in love with?" She said, "You're right. He's in love with who he wants me to be."

Infatuation is a tricky thing. Here are two intelligent people who know that they don't have a future, due to their values clash. That's why they broke up in the first place. Yes, they have chemistry, but chemistry diminishes with time, especially when there's a values clash. As I clarify in my book,"I only want to get married once" studies show that infatuation can last up to about three years, and then dwindles. At this point, values take center stage. That's what happened two years earlier in this couple's relationship, and that's why they split up. Now, two years later, in order to enjoy each other's 'chemistry', they have to shut down certain essential parts of themselves. They can't allow themselves to be 'known', for that would threaten the chemistry. One of the most important components of love is 'being known and knowing the other person'. That's how we know whether there is real love potential in a relationship: our deepest values and beliefs are expressed and appreciated and for the most part, shared.

Back to our story. When this young woman thought about the question, "Who is he in love with, it shook her into reality. She realized that the best thing for both of them would be to face the reality of their clashing values/goals. It was difficult for her to phone him and confront the issue, and it was difficult for her to give up that 'good feeling' of 'having someone be in love with her". But at the end of the day, the feelings were false and misleading. When she was brave enough to let go of that 'false love', she realized that accompanying that false 'good feeling' was an insecurity, a frustration and a loss of her true self. When she let go of that false love, she gained herself back. And in the end, her ex-boyfriend thanked her for saving both of them from another round of a confusing and unfulfilling relationship.

Dating can be a very complex and confusing experience. It is so easy to be fooled...and to fool ourselves. I cannot overemphasize how important it is to clarify your values, to live by them and to 'date by them'! I think that we just coined a new phrase but I mean it: 'date by your values'! They will not limit you; on the contrary, they will be the guiding lights to illuminate your way through the confusion inherent in the dating process.

Written by: Chana Levitan

Chana Levitan is a renowned educator, author, lecturer, and relationship coach. Through her extensive professional experience over the past 22 years, she has counseled literally thousands of women and men. Chana resides in Jerusalem with her husband and children. Her driving passion is to give people the tools they need to trust themselves and their abilities to create a successful marriage...the first time around.

Visit http://www.chanalevitan.com for more info.

Conversation Starters - The Best Topics to Discuss With Your Date to Make Him Interested

Are your first dates a little off? Are you always running out of conversation starters? Does your mind always become clouded whenever you are in a date? You actually don't have to be this nervous on first dates. State of panic must never hold you back and prevent you from having fun. You must learn how to control yourself and emotions to be able to come up with a successful date. If you seem to be anxious all the time, you will never get his interest. Instead of ending up with uncomfortable moments, here are six interesting conversation starters that could really break the silence and get the conversation going.

1. Are you a fan of music?

This conversation starter is actually effective mostly because people otherwise love music. Be it pop, jazz, classic, or rock, they will surely be an easy question and will definitely lead to a smooth-flowing discussion. Things about the instruments and musicians might further follow so be prepared and do your homework.

2. Do you have pets?

Both male and female are often fond of animals. Whether it is a cat, dog, a bird, or even a mouse, the subject would be easy to talk about. This is a basic conversation starter that will actually make him tell you more about himself.

3. What's your favorite place?

Since people often travel and somewhat loves to go to various places, maybe he might have been somewhere you'd already been too. And if he did, then the discussion will further advance. It will be easier to talk about something you both know or both enjoyed. If he prefers a beach over the malls, you might as well agree because somehow, if you are to choose between shopping or swimming with your friends, you will certainly choose swimming. So there goes your compatibility.

4. What was the best movie you've ever seen?

Movies are everyone's interest. Most men prefer action while women want romance. But in most cases, the artists matter most. You don't have to worry if you don't have the same appetite for movies. If he likes horror and you hate it, you may state your opinion in a way that will make the conversation going. But never make it to a point that you both will have contradicting ideas.

5. How many girlfriends have you had?

This isn't a conversation starter that feels uncomfortable to talk about on his part. Besides, it will show a lot of interest for both of you to continue dating. Knowing his background is indeed an advantage for you. If he lies, you can somehow feel it. Trust your instincts, they often comes out right.

6. What qualities of a girl you like?

The purpose of dating is to get to know the person more. And if you know what he likes and dislikes, you may use it to catch his interest and to make him officially yours. But it doesn't have to be that way all the time. Being someone else for his sake will never be a good way to go. You might lose yourself in the long run. So keep just keep what he said as guidelines.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

Get Your FREE Report When You Visit Today:* Love Triggers Revealed *

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Secrets That'll Make a Man Fall in Love - Get a Hand on His Emotions

Can you really get a guy to fall in love with you? Are you hopelessly falling in love with many of the men you meet, but they never love you back? Do you think something might be wrong with you, but you don't know what it can be? When women want love that badly they can sometimes get into the habit of making the same mistake over and over again. Here's how you can break out of the cycle and get a real handle on love.

Desperation is your worst enemy as you set out to meet a guy. If he can see it in your face how badly you want this encounter to turn out well, he'll want to turn away. The pressure can be so great that he doesn't even want to try.

Try to look at those first few encounters as just a great meeting with a great guy. Without any hopes or expectations hanging over your head, you'll be better able to just relax and really enjoy your time with him. Many women underestimate the importance of simply having that great comfortable rapport with a man and they try too hard to make it that perfect date from that impossible romance novel.

This is real life and real life can be real slow. So take the time to enjoy a great conversation with him, discover what you admire about him then let him see what you're proud of and give him plenty to respect and admire about you. All this should be under a veil of fun relaxation that doesn't allow the strain of an impending relationship to ruin everything.

Taking your time should also spill over to your dates with him further down the line. Just because you feel your falling in love with him after your fourth date doesn't mean he's keeping up with you and feeling the same. Don't worry about this and don't start bringing your nervous energy to your dates. Continue to have fun and let his love come on its own. With time and patience, and all that fun he's having with you, he'll fall in love with you.

To learn more, click Fall in Love and learn Love Mistakes that 99% of women make without knowing.

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Make Him Fall in Love - Demystifying the Love of Man

Do you know how to make a man fall in love with you? Does the love of a good man seem out of reach to you? Have you tried before and you feel there's nothing more you can do to succeed in love? Love is a very unpredictable emotion. It can come when we least expect it, evaporate with little warning and sometimes be completely elusive when we feel we need it the most. But there are a few ground rules you can keep in mind to better your chances at surviving in love.

First, you have to put in a concerted effort to avoid letting on to the man you're dating that you're desperate to have a serious relationship. Heavy expectations and weighty pressure can kill the potential love this man might ultimately come to have for you. Let the relationship evolve in a timely matter and don't rush through it.

This includes not rushing your way to the bedroom. Having sex with a guy might seem like the easy way of locking in his love for you, but his love is not likely what you'll end up with. Build a solid friendship with him first and let him see all the fabulous sides of you before you hurry to jump into bed.

As you get to know him, make sure you're showing him a healthy dose of admiration for the man you're discovering. Some women come to view men as an opponent rather than a potential partner. This date isn't a competition, so don't go out of your way to prove yourself better than him. You'll only come out looking petty in the end... not to mention alone.

However, do keep in mind that men are highly attracted to a woman who has her own life, opinions and career. Don't be mousy to the point of letting him have the last word, giving him all the decision making power or showing yourself to be submissive. Keep a healthy balance of independence for your own life, and recognition and respect for his.

To accomplish this, simply refrain from being constantly available to see him. Just because he calls to ask you on a date tomorrow night doesn't mean you have to drop everything to be with him. In fact, you should avoid doing this at all. He'll respect the importance you put in your independence and won't quickly take you for granted.

And lastly, don't forget that men are visually enticed. They enjoy looking at a woman who is pleasing to the eye. Don't confuse this with the notion that men are only attracted to one type of woman; the super model. They're not and you shouldn't give up just because you feel you don't measure up to the beauties of the world. Get yourself together and be the best that you can. Add a smile of confidence to this put together look of yours and the rest will fall into place. It's not just the smart outfit and new haircut that will grab his attention. It's how you portray and carry yourself. Pretty, but arrogant doesn't attract many guys. Beautiful, but pretentious doesn't fare much better. Be approachable and friendly in addition to looking great.

Over doing the overt sexuality may seem like an easy route, but the type of men you'll attract might disappoint you. Keep it sensually sensible. Your clothes should give him something to look forward to discovering, not blatantly expose all your assets right from that first meeting.

It may seem like a lot to consider, but if you really think about it, getting the true love of that great man isn't as complicated as you might have thought. Be fun and enjoy your dates of discovery with him.

To learn more, click Fall in Love and learn Love Mistakes that 99% of women make without knowing.

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Middle-Age Dating - Tips on Finding a Partner After 40

Do you wonder what are the odds of you finding a date; subsequently, how would you end up finding a partner after 40? You realize dating is challenging as compared when you were much younger. To help you, here are 5 middle-age dating tips on finding a partner after 40.

Leverage on Your Age. You do not have to look your age. Be smart on selecting what you wear. Do not choose clothes that someone 20 years older than you would pick. If you still have your hairstyle as if it is still the 80's, try changing your hairdresser. Do physical activities which interest you such as dancing, outdoor sports, yoga, etc. Catch up with your reading. After 40, you can dress and act like you are younger, but, think wiser.

Be Busy, Not Crazy Busy. Focus on your work. This will prevent you from thinking and feeling sorry that you have not met your partner after 40. Spend time for yourself and, your friends; but, be open to meeting new people to add to your circle. Take time to go on vacation. Taking time off re-energizes your spirit. You would look calm and refreshed. If you are too busy, you are blocking someone from showing up in your life. How do you imagine adding someone to spend time with if your calendar is booked?

Do Not Lower Your Standards. The dilemma that most singles after 40 worry about (particularly women), is that, they would not find anyone. They would be doomed to singlehood for the rest of their life. In effect, they would be more likely willing to settle to whoever is available. This is not going to be beneficial. Bear in mind that changing anyone is out of the question.

Let Go of Your Ex. Alexander Graham Bell quoted that, "when one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." Similarly, when you keep your attention to what you missed or how you have been hurt, you are not in a welcoming mode. Clean up your emotional baggage. Simultaneously, consider disposing personal effects related to your ex no matter how much you value them. This is a great way to signify that you are free from attachment.

Act Only When Inspired. The common denominator that happens to singles after 40 is that they become serious in finding a partner. In this present time and age, there are more opportunities to meet other singles. You name it...scout in online dating sites, Facebook, speed dating events, and dating agencies among others. Not satisfied with these choices, some recruit their friends' help in their quest. All of these activities, done collectively, beget desperation. When you come from this state, it would reflect in your persona. Do things that would make you joyful like petting your dog, listening to music, walking in the park or doing something creative. Once you are inspired, then, you can use any of the aforementioned search channels but with no expectation.

Life is short. There is no time for brooding. Be in charge of your destiny. Enjoy every moment after 40. In time, you would find someone if you practice these 5 middle-age dating tips on finding a partner after 40.

Find more related topics on finding true love by visiting http://www.manifestingmydestiny.com Remember to avail of the 6 Day Free E-mail Mini Course.

Lori Abela is an expert on finding true love for expats. She has finally found the love of her life in her 40s. She shares her secrets to finding true love with the readers of http://www.manifestingmydestiny.com Lori is available for coaching, speaking engagements and consultancy.

Dating Rules for Women - Doing It Right in 2010

Are you looking for the hottest in dating rules for women in the year 2010? Have you looked up the dating rules for women of days gone by and they don't really suit your sensibilities? Do you want to avoid being too conservative, but you don't want to be too loose either?

Just like with virtually everything else in our society, dating rules for women have shifted, changed, and some of them have been eliminated altogether... thankfully. So what's a woman to do these days? Read on and see the dating rules for women you should be aware of.

Promiscuity

Some have come to call this the day of the oversexed. We see sex everywhere, we give it away in the bat of an eye and we've come to put little importance in the act at all. As far as we've come as women over the years, it's almost ironic how we've regressed to the very position men put us in hundreds of years ago.

Some may argue that we are at least doing it now through our own volition. If we want to sleep with a guy on the first date, that's our choice.

True, but while you can control what you do and don't do, you can't control how the guy is going to perceive your actions. Despite being pleased with the ease in which you throw yourself into his bed, many men looking for a serious match tend to have a negative view of women who do this.

Calling Card

Your grandmother would probably tell you that she would have never even dreamt of calling a man. It was outrageous and unacceptable... not to mention unladylike. But today, not only do men accept having a woman call them, they expect it. This aspect of the dating process no longer holds the negative connotations it once did.

But within this old and discarded rule harbors another. How often can you call him before you begin to look like a nuisance? This can greatly vary from guy to guy. Play it safe and keep the number of calls to him at a bare minimum.

Competitive Edge

Your grandmother probably sat back and let the guy do all the work. He arranged the date, paid for it and catered to her every whim. He had a great job, interesting hobbies and an active social life. Few women back then had little with which to compete with the men they dated.

Today, we have a little too much to compete about, however we forget that the dating arena isn't necessarily the best place to bring that competition. The guy you meet doesn't want to compare the importance of his job to yours, nor his salary.

If you insist on trying to prove to him that you're just as good, if not better than he is, the date is almost guaranteed to go sour. Either he'll think you're simply petty, or you'll win the competition, but will lose a potentially great guy in the process.

Use your common sense as you use these dating rules of women to your best advantage.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

Get Your FREE Report When You Visit Today:*
Love Triggers Revealed *

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.