The Dating Ritual

Dating is a complicated affair. It involves the initial contact, the getting to know you, the first meeting, the second and subsequent dates, the first kiss, the first moment of true intimacy, sharing hopes and dreams, introducing friends and family, daily contact, blah, blah, blah. It's like a never-ending story, yet a story that many of us strive to become a character in.

This never-ending story is all part of a ritual that humans go through. The ritual personifies what it is to be human. Of course, the ritual exists so that the human race will multiply forever. A pretty important point, if you ask me.

One of the most important rituals that we humans do is called "dating." Ahh, to be young again. To be able to pick and choose and go through dates like they were calendar pages to be tossed away with each passing day. Remember how much fun that was?

Dating is the cause and effect, the ultimate "in person", where you have to show up on your best behavior, breath fresh, clothes clean, looking good. You worry before, during, and after. The dates stack up. They multiply. One after another, until one day, the date sticks. Sticking is what we are looking for. Sticking is when the date becomes a relationship. How does a first date morph into a relationship?

It takes time, although we would like to believe that it could happen sooner than later. The morph is that fluid motion that exists between you and your partner. The hit and miss. The touch and go. The dance. When the dance ends the music truly begins. Love is funny that way. When you least expect it, the first date leads to a relationship, the relationship to a commitment and the commitment to forever. Like I said, dating is a complicated affair, but an affair that pays off in the end.

JJR NY ©

Janet J. Reiss, LCSW, is licensed as a clinical social worker in New York. As a clinician Janet works with children, adolescents, and adults in helping them work through issues that complicate their day-to-day living. Communication, relationships, substance abuse problems and other addictions, psychiatric problems, and family issues are areas that are explored. When Janet is not working as a Clinical Manager or in her private practice she is working on her website http://www.lookingforlove.com which is an online dating directory and marketplace for adult singles.