Win His Love and Commitment - Make Him Yours

Have you tried to win his love and commitment? Despite tons of dates, has true love always eluded you? Do your dates seem to go well, but nothing ever happens afterwards? Many women have a knack for turning heads, catching men's attention and getting loads of dates. However, after two or three dates, the guy simply doesn't call back or has some flimsy excuse for not seeing her. If this sounds familiar, read on to see what you've been doing to send men walking the other way.

It's pretty much considered prudish by many modern women to lay off the sexuality right off the bat. Cleavage is on display everywhere, skirts are barely the width of a belt and little is left to the imagination. This can be great and very effective if you're looking to hook up with a guy for a night or two of wild sex. However, if your thoughts are running more along the lines of finding a truly good man you can spend the rest of your life with, this may not be the best approach.

Winning a man's love and devotion takes a little more effort that simply flaunting your sexual virtues. He wants to know that you have a personality that meshes well with his. He wants to be able to have fun with you and laugh with you. He needs to feel important, strong and needed. Yes, sex has an important role in every relationship, but there has to be more, so much more. Take care of the friendship first then see if bringing that friendship to a sexual relationship is something you really want.

When things are going good and you've come to know him fairly well, don't let your emotions take control of your head. If you start to get ahead of yourself, if you start to imagine how great your life with him would be and you just can't wait for him to commit to you and prove his love, take a second and think about it.

Before you throw your expectations on him and try to make him see the long, happy life you could have together, consider the fact that he may not be thinking that far ahead yet. There's a good chance that he's having fun getting to know you, that he's still exploring various aspects of the woman that you are and he just wants to go on having a good time every time he sees you. Don't ruin that be suddenly putting the pressure on because you've decided that you want more.

For the most part, the man who falls in love with a woman and sees that his life is so great when she's around will eventually figure out that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and he'll commit. But when the woman decides she's ready and starts to push, she risks making every date with her unpleasant.

Keep it fun. Keep it real. Keep him interested. With all this, you're sure to win his love and commitment.

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This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

From Dating Debacles to Lifetime Love - The Key Issue - Commitment

How do we get it right? Romantic love. Most of the time we don't buy what we first try--by this I mean we get something different to that we try. In other words, the person we fell in love changes or we do (or probably both).

And even still if we invest via dating and find we don't entirely like them, what's the recourse?--it's better often to continue than turn back for home, or so our logic often dictates.

We think it's safe to do this. We can 'put up with' those "idiosyncrasies" of theirs, surely. It's equally safe to assume that none of us gets it completely--or even partly--right. This explains the high percentage of failed partnerships and marriages, cheating etc.

But at some point we must realise that being happy--in a selfish sort of way--is only part of the deal. The whole deal, of course, is accepting that a good partnership is not really about ourselves alone--it's about the two-person team. Understanding this is one thing; living it is another thing altogether.

Recently I was intrigued to listen to a talkback radio show on cheating. Three separate "cheaters" called in as invited by the broadcaster and gave quite unique accounts for "why" they cheated--what it proved to me was that all romantic relationships have a finite "life" unless we seek life beyond that life. We, of course, know that romantic love spikes early and companionate love finishes the course.

Back to dating: I feel that if you're dating you're destined to not get it right--not that this inference should depress you. From the long-term viewpoint, the perfect--or even eighty percent perfect--date doesn't exist. It's impossible to get a partner who's so aligned with us personally, yet holds our love in tension.

When we find that our relationships remind us sadly of a time when we or they were different, livelier or lovelier--'long ago; someone else ago'--we must recall that somehow our expectations of love were/are askew.

We must choose to re-adjust and re-affix our expectations of love--and "them" too. No wonder love is so hard!

But, to be left with hopelessness is entirely inappropriate. The fact is many thousands of couples choose to sacrifice much of themselves to have a happy and successful marriage--and what's more, they achieve it. They are not put off by change; they sweep with change and commit wholeheartedly to their partner--it's their whole ideal and identity wrapped up in them.

Dating is a debacle but lifetime love needn't be.

c 2010 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, MSIA, RSP) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/.