Are You Ready For Love?

Finding love is a process we often want to speed up. We often ask the following question: When am I going to find the one? It may seem like you have been waiting for an eternity. Even though you may be anxious to find love you need to determine if you are truly ready for love. I was single for a long time before I met my fiance'. I went through a period of time that I was desperate to find love. The thought of finding love seemed to consume me. I thought I really needed to find love in order to be happy. On top of that things were not going very well in my personal life. I had just finished my degree and my search for a descent job seemed hopeless. I guess you can say I was going through a little depression and I was looking for something to pull me out of my funk. I decided to try online dating for the first time even though I had been very skeptical about it. I logged onto the computer and I filled out a very long personality profile. It took forever to fill out the profile which was very frustrating. I must have carried my bad attitude and my current state of depression into the profile filling out process because at the end of that long tedious process I was told "sorry we have no matches for you at this time. Wow!!! I was upset to say the least. If I wasn't already feeling bad about myself now, I had been rejected by an online dating service. At this point I threw an even bigger pity party.

In hindsight, I realize I wasn't ready for love at that time. My emotions were all over the place. If I would have started dating then I would probably have driven the poor guy crazy. I don't think that my "gloomy Gus" attitude would have been too fun to be around. Bottom line I had issue that I needed to work out prior to searching for love.

You may believe finding love is the answer to your problems. You may think that it will cure your loneliness and solve all of your life problems, or at least keep your mother from asking you: "When are you going to get married"? Finding love is great! I am so happy that I have been blessed with a great fiancé. But finding love has not solved all of my problems.

My point is don't look for love in the hope that it will change your entire life. Love greatly enriches your life but it will not completely transform it. If you are expecting for your life to suddenly become perfect, you will be disappointed. You should be living a balanced and healthy life before you pursue love. Finding love is a process, you have to be emotionally stable and clear minded to handle it. You probably are going to have some heartbreaks and disappointments along the way. If you are emotional unstable or socially isolated you will have a hard time dealing with the bumps along the road. One of my favorite song's by India Arie expresses my sentiment exactly, read her lyrics:

"I am ready for love

Why are you hiding from me

I'd quickly give my freedom

To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love

All of the joy and the pain

And all the time that it takes

Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking

Maybe you're not ready for me

Maybe you think I need to learn maturity

They say watch what you ask for

Cause you might receive

But if you ask me tomorrow

I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love

Would you please lend me your ear?

I promise I won't complain

I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance

I'll prove this to you

I will be patient, kind, faithful and true

To a man who loves music

A man who loves art

Respect's the spirit world

And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love

If you'll take me in your hands

I will learn what you teach

And do the best that I can

I am ready for love

Here with an offering of

My voice

My Eyes

My soul

My mind

Tell me what is enough

To prove I am ready for love

I am ready" -by India Arie

You need to prepare for yourself to find love. Here are a few things you can do to be ready for love:

1. Know what you want

Carefully consider what you are looking for in your mate. You need to know what you are looking for before you can find it. You want to have an idea of the qualifications you need in a man to make you happy. If you go looking for love without a "got-to-have" list you will be distracted by all the guys that are out there instead of focusing in on the right candidates.

2. Develop you own social network and group of friends

You don't want to be a "clinger". A clinger is a woman who wants to spend every free moment with her guy. She wants to be talking, texting or hanging out with her guy 24 /7. You will suffocate a guy with this unhealthy behavior. You NEED your own life! You need things that interest you and satisfy you other than your guy.

3. Cut the strings on bad relationships

Often people think they are ready for love but they are still involving themselves in unhealthy relationships. Let go of the past. You need to leave your ex alone, stop calling him when you get lonely or bored. If you don't close the door on old relationships you will not be able to open up the door for the right relationship. Also, stay away from men that are already in relationships or married. If they are already taken they are not for you.

4. Develop yourself

You should have a set of long term and short term goal for yourself. Don't just stare out the window waiting for love, "a watch pot never boils". Focus on developing yourself as a person. Work on improving who you are so that you will be a better person and a more desirable mate. Most men are looking for women that have their stuff together. The competition for a good man is stiff so make sure you are presenting the "best you". Work and develop your physical, mental and spiritual self. There is always something you can do to become a better person!!

5. Contact New Love

Please speak or meet with our Relationship Coach. She will give you a short assessment to help you determine if you are ready for love. If you are not ready for love our Relationship Coach will help you begin the process of preparing for love.

Kristin C New Love Founder and Relationship Coach

Visit http://www.ournewlove.com for Relationship Advice, Dating Tips, Self Esteem Improvement and personalized coaching. Become a Fan of New Love http://www.facebook.com/pages/La-Quinta-CA/New-Love/136827959670572